=> What is about falling in love?:
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Love is a serious disease according to Islamic point of view. But it can not be realised by most of the people. You are growing up in the family with your parents and relatives and you become easy and feel normal with them generally.
But with the increase of your age, you may get close to someone who is especially out of your family members. You start to see something different in that opposite gender and that person's face, attitude, words and other things hurt your thinking and you feel as if you are enjoying a moment of pleasure in your mind. The more you see and mix with that opposite sex, the more you become in the bondage of that person's accompany. As a result, when you become lonely, that opposite sex is then present in your mind. Without getting the company, you then feel as if you are being burnt in the fire.
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=> What type of desire it is?:
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It is really tough to identify. It works differently in different time. Sometimes, one can only be attracted by opposite gender's beauty, sometimes attraction comes only from talking or by words, sometimes by movement of walking, or by way of looking, or by becoming attracted to any part of the body, sometimes by the sound of movement, sometimes by the smell of the perfume and so on. But all the time, there does not occur the desire to have direct sexual intercourse, rather the intense desire of friendship and free-mixing also works which becomes mixed with sexual desire. At this moment, if such process is going on and it turns into an addiction, then you gradually submit yourself to that person whom you have fallen in love; or in other words, you become in the slavery of intense desire and affection of that opposite gender who has snatched your mind's world.
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=> What is the reason?
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The reason behind all these starts from a simple thing and that is "THE BREAKING OF 'HIJAB'(way of modesty according to Islamic point of view)". Covering of the body with modest dress, modest way of looking, walking, talking and modesty in the behaviour and attitude of every moment are included in the system of Hijab and if any part of this Hijab is broken, attraction can be occurred.
Love comes from such attraction and this attraction according to my point of view can be divided into three types:
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1) Equal attraction to body and mind;
2) More attraction to body, less attraction to mind;
3) Less attraction to body, more attraction to mind.
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Any one type of attraction can be activated at a particular time for a particular person towards the opposite gender. And such attraction weakens the mind and gradually fills the thinking and feeling with intense desire. And that begins from the misusing of our sense organs (and specially the misusing of our eyes by consuming the beauty of the opposite sex).
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When one is doing such misuse of senses, the breaking of Hijab is being started from there. For example, if a young boy suddenly sees a beautiful girl with her fashionable dress, he may further look and continue watching her, or he may lower his gaze and refrain himself from seeing her at the second time.
Now if he continues the watching, his mind will become weak gradually and he may fall into the slavery of his desire which turns into the sickness of his mind. At that time, the logic does not work in the brain that one should lower the gaze to get away from such intesnse desire because the mind then becomes busy to get the enjoyment. At this feeling, most of the people think that this is the real peace and so it is correct because the mind then suggests to run behind the lust.
But in reality, it is not any peace at all, rather, it is only the expression of hormonal effect which works like burning fire!
As a result, the peaceful feeling turns into the feeling of excitement and the excitement is tried to be lessened by enjoyment of desire.
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But when you think that by that enjoyment, you can lessen your excitement, you fall into another trap! Because such enjoyment increases your desire more than before and thus you can not be satisfied and so excitement is also multiplied. So, how can one call this running behind of desire is the way of peace!!
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Such mental sickness caused from this desire, turns into love and you become the slave of your desire and the slave of the person you fall in love.
That's why the Almighty says in the Quran that man has been given the sense organs and other body parts but instead of the righteous way, he often chooses the way of unrighteousness by rejecting the path of good and salvation.
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"Have We not made for him two eyes?
And a tongue and two lips?
And have shown him the two ways(the good and the evil)?
But he has not broken through the difficult pass(the path contains salvation and good)."
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(The Noble Quran, 90:8-11)
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=> Purification of love:
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Allah says in the Quran that He has shown the mankind the way of purity and the one who will maintain such way of purification may be able to become successful by Allah's wish.
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"By the Soul, and the proportion and order given to it;
And its enlightenment as to its wrong and its right;-
Truly he succeeds that purifies it,
And he fails that corrupts it!"
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(The Noble Quran, 91:7-10)
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Islam shows the way to purify the love by the way of marriage. If one is unable to marry, he should practise fast to control his desire.
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The Prophet(sallahu alaihi wasallam) says,
"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."
(Sahih Bukhari)
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Here one who marries, can get the accompany of the opposite gender in a legal way which helps to fill his desire in a disciplined way. Thus one's emotional desire is being lessened because marriage modifies the life in such way of discipline which helps one to be away from illicit relationship.
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Moreover, the technical issue of love is explained which will purify the thinking and feeling and may take closer to Almighty too. The Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) says,
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"Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith:
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1. The one to whom Allah(Almighty Creator) and His Apostle becomes dearer than anything else.
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2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.
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3. Who hates to revert to Atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the fire."
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(Sahih Bukhari)
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Here the techniques to purify the love is mentioned.
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One should love the Almighty and His Apostle (Last Messenger Prophet Muhammad(sallahu alahi wasallam)) most. And this can be possible by submitting oneself completely only to Allah(Almighty) and by obeying the words of Allah and His Apostle.
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One should love anyone only for the sake of Allah.
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One should fear to enter Atheism or Disbelief like to enter the fire.
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By following this way, the slavery of desire and the slavery of other people can be overcomed by submitting one's will to the Creator Almighty.
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This is the way where the submission to the Sustainer of the universe reminds again and again that "You are only the slave of Almighty Allah, not the slave of any other personality!"
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And by this way, one follows to maintain the Hijab of outside and inside and tries to use the sense organs, thinking and the will in the perfect modest way.
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Thus by obeying the Almighty's commandments, one goes ahead in the way of life with the theme to satisfy the Almighty, not to satify the desire. That's why Allah commands the believers to enter Islam fully so that they can be free from all other bondage of the temporary world.
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"O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy."
(The Noble Quran, 2:208)
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